Its Confession Time

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so i must confess!

i want lots of kids, but dislike pregnancy. alot. if i could have ten kids and forgo the whole, gaining weight, morning sickness, cankles, and weird hair growths i would. does this make me selfish? no i dont think so. does it make me a wuss? definitely. i like to be active, excersing, walking, dancing, jigging and anything else that will get the heart rate going, it just seems though once i find out im prgenant all that stops. my umpf flies right out the window. i give into my cravings for cheeseburgers and deep fried oreos, i have no self control. im also a very angry pregnant person. as hard as i tried i just couldnt like people. i stayed in my cave and barely left. my days consisted of whining rants at my husband, hours upon hours of cops marathons, and eating everything in sight. oh yeah and lots of throwing up. plus its scary. you never know exactly whats going on in there and not knowing will feed any fear to an outrageous size! then you have the usual thoughts. will i be a good parent? how hard is it gonna be with two? will rowen feel left out? what am i going to name it? if i could just skip all that and get to the good parts, you know, like the first snuggles, watching your hubby turn green while changing the first poopy diaper. those are the things that make it worthwhile. then later comes the mamas.. the dadas... first bites... first steps... first kisses and hugs.........

and see this is what gets me in trouble. i start thinking like that and i forget all the hard times. i remember the flutters and first sonograms and am so willing to do it again. maybe third time will be the charm. maybe we will be able to welcome a little girl into the world. :)

here are the humans i have made.